Top 10 Hints Your Cal/OSHA Inspection Is Going Poorly

10. Cal/OSHA sets up shop in your parking lot... in a FEMA trailer.

9. The inspector knows your employees by their first names.

8. You realize that you fired the inspector last year.

7. The inspector begins the opening conference with the words "You have the right to remain silent."

6. The inspector frequently mutters "This is incredible!"

5. The inspector wears a moon suit while your employees wear jeans and tennis shoes.

4. Cal/OSHA brings in a professional film team to document the inspection. Mike Wallace tags along.

3. The inspector asks about a specific report in your files, but you haven't turned over any files.

2. Your assemblyman sends thanks for your contribution, but won't return your calls.

And the top hint that your inspection is going badly....

Cal/OSHA Chief Len Welsh conducts the closing conference.

Thanks to David Letterman for the concept, and to an unknown internet source for the inspiration.

Happy Holidays and a Safe New Year to all!